All By Myself

 "Just want to be all by myself." That has been our silent warrior's request since Sunday.  Caleb first suffered an incredibly sore back for five days after his last procedure.  We got him out & moving too soon and that seemed to make matters worse. 

 

Before the pain hit, Caleb got an incredible reunion with one of his best buddies from Pre-K.  He was so happy.

Cal has lived in warm bubble/Epsom Salt baths for hours each day for relief. Then on Sunday, that horrible "chemo mouth" made a vicious comeback.  It's fairly common with children taking high doses of chemo.  His gums, lips, & entire mouth are so sore, he can barely eat.  We've tried packing smoothies with protein for nutrition & are just encouraging lots of liquids.  The pain has been so severe, he hasn't even been talking.  His loving, understanding, & patient home-school teacher agreed to his request of "sign language" this week.  

 

Mrs. McDonald offers warm cuddles during reading time.

Outside of "school", Cal has only wanted to lie down in a dark, quiet room alone with his iPad.  He hasn't accepted loving hugs, like he usually adores, or comforting pats on the back.  He hasn't felt like playing his favorite board games, and television has even been too annoying for him.  He has just wanted to face it alone.  It's been incredibly difficult to accept that.  He has lost a lot of weight, and his clothes are getting super baggy.

That being said, I got to enjoy a vacation day at home with him today, & he jumped in bed for cuddle time this morn- that was a welcomed surprise!  We have tried different medications all week to help & finally found the right one!  He ate dinner last night (whahoooo!) and was able to eat solid foods again today.  It's definitely getting better, but we still have a long way to go.  Hopefully we're at a point now to help him get through it all hand-in-hand.  It's much easier on all of us, when we can fight this awful thing called cancer together, versus alone.