|Cal had a spinal tap on Monday, and as always, put on a brave front.|
Last night, I was tucking Caleb into bed. We finished saying our prayers, and I could barely make out the look on his face from the glow of his fish tank. I asked him if he was okay. "Mommy, what is happening to my body? Why did God give me cancer?" I caught my breath and put on a brave face and tried to keep my voice strong and steady. "My darling, darling child. God didn't give you cancer. God is protecting you while you undergo treatment for cancer," I reassured him. "I know. I'm sorry." I told him over and over how he didn't have to be sorry. It's so hard to see your child in pain.
My heart was still so heavy this morning. Every morning, when I'm getting ready for the news, I'm in the Make-Up Room with the same reporter. She could feel the tension. She just put her arms around me and hugged me so tight and reassured me that everything is going to be okay. It's so amazing to have such a wonderful support system and to get a hug when you really need it. That one little thing was so big and has gotten me through the day.
Caleb's body is also having to adjust to a higher dose of chemotherapy. It has completely changed his taste buds. He can't even stand the thought of his favorite foods from a few weeks ago. We are trying all kinds of new recipes to make up for it. It's a frustrating challenge that I know we'll get through.
The other big challenge has been Daddy David's recovery from major back surgery last week. It was quite surreal for Caleb to be in the hospital for someone else. He has worked very hard to pamper his dad and make sure he has everything he needs! You never realize how much your "entire family support system" is needed, until a member or two is recovering & out of the equation for a while.
Here I am, down on my knees again, surrendering all.
Find me here, Lord, as you draw me near, desperate for you, I surrender."
It reminds me God is our healer!
|We've enjoyed some special times together, before this latest downhill jog... including watching one of Caleb's favorite teams - the Houston Astros!|
|Caleb even got to play GOALIE (far right, orange shirt) in Zachary's last soccer match.|
I'm reminded of an oldie, but goodie, song of Amy Grant's:
"When I am worried, and I can't sleep, I count my blessings, instead of sheep. I fall asleep... counting my blessings".
I will do that tonight, because I know that God is watching over our little boy, and I know we have our Prayer Warriors on our side. God bless you all.