Summer Sighs...

Out with the sunny days of summer and in with the rainy days... where wet stuff is not just falling from the skies... but also from our eyes.  It's been a tough few days for Caleb.

Cal had a spinal tap on Monday, and as always, put on a brave front. 

The start of school often means the spread of germs, so Cal is battling a cold, but he's also suffering from a spinal fluid leak, following his lumbar puncture (spinal tap).  That means a dreadful headache and weakness.  He's so brave, he tried to go to school, but had to come home quickly both days.  Now he's on bed rest, until that fluid can start building back up.

Last night, I was tucking Caleb into bed.  We finished saying our prayers, and I could barely make out the look on his face from the glow of his fish tank.  I asked him if he was okay.  "Mommy, what is happening to my body?  Why did God give me cancer?"  I caught my breath and put on a brave face and tried to keep my voice strong and steady.  "My darling, darling child.  God didn't give you cancer.  God is protecting you while you undergo treatment for cancer," I reassured him.  "I know.  I'm sorry."  I told him over and over how he didn't have to be sorry.  It's so hard to see your child in pain.  

My heart was still so heavy this morning.  Every morning, when I'm getting ready for the news, I'm in the Make-Up Room with the same reporter.  She could feel the tension.  She just put her arms around me and hugged me so tight and reassured me that everything is going to be okay.  It's so amazing to have such a wonderful support system and to get a hug when you really need it.  That one little thing was so big and has gotten me through the day.  

Caleb's body is also having to adjust to a higher dose of chemotherapy.  It has completely changed his taste buds. He can't even stand the thought of his favorite foods from a few weeks ago.  We are trying all kinds of new recipes to make up for it.  It's a frustrating challenge that I know we'll get through.

The other big challenge has been Daddy David's recovery from major back surgery last week.  It was quite surreal for Caleb to be in the hospital for someone else.  He has worked very hard to pamper his dad and make sure he has everything he needs!  You never realize how much your "entire family support system" is needed, until a member or two is recovering & out of the equation for a while.

Supportive sons!

 I believe that we often go through life's storms to get even closer to our Heavenly Maker.  I always rely on music to open my heart and my eyes during these trying times.  This song gives me strength: 

Here I am, down on my knees again, surrendering all.  
Find me here, Lord, as you draw me near, desperate for you, I surrender." 

www.youtube.com/watch?v=HcnfT4arZtI&list=PL54B204D72BF2799

It reminds me God is our healer!   

Here's some great news to share- Caleb absolutely adores his new 2nd grade teacher and is so happy to be back at school with all of his little buddies.  I think it's so important for a child to connect with his teacher, so that he/she enjoys school and then looks forward to it for years to come.  Now if we can just get him strong enough to go back soon!!!

We've enjoyed some special times together, before this latest downhill jog... including watching one of Caleb's favorite teams - the Houston Astros! 

Caleb even got to play GOALIE (far right, orange shirt) in Zachary's last soccer match. 

Caleb also has a new friend from camp - what a blessing that is!  We met up with him last week.  It's incredibly interesting and even somewhat humorous to hear two 8-year olds compare procedures and chemo horror stories.  They both have an amazing sense of humor about it. 

Have a Coke & a smile?  Caleb sure did with this special delivery from my childhood best friend.  Can you see it?  She sent us our own 6-pack with our names (my high school nickname)  Caleb chose THREE of them... his name, plus the ones that say Strong & Courage.  How neat is that?  WOW.  Love them.  Thanks, Valerie!   xoxo   

We are specifically praying for Caleb to adjust to his new chemo load, to recover from his excruciating headache, and to fight germs from entering his body.

I'm reminded of an oldie, but goodie, song of Amy Grant's:
"When I am worried, and I can't sleep, I count my blessings, instead of sheep.   I fall asleep... counting my blessings". 

I will do that tonight, because I know that God is watching over our little boy, and I know we have our Prayer Warriors on our side.  God bless you all.